Hi everyone! I slept pretty well last night and I made it thru yesterday. I had to go to WRMC to clean out my locker. Didn't think I would make it without having a full breakdown. My badge doesn't work on the old doors I used to go in and there was no parking in the employee lot so I parked in the ER lot. Was crying before I got out of the car. I prayed that I could hold it together. I know it is had to believe because I only worked there about 6 months, but it was my first out-of-house job in 17 years. I loved everyone I worked with. I had a purpose and I did my job well. It was exciting with something new everyday. (a new surgery) I loved to hear the helocopter coming thinking someing would need emergency surgery. Anyway, I brought a big bag, had to have someone let me in to the locker room. I heard voices and thought I would panic. I didn't, I just walked in, put my bag down in front of my locker, then brought the dishes into the lounge that were left at my house from all of the wonderful ladies that made food for us earlier this year...saw Deborah, who gave me a hug and said..."I hear you're coming back!" I told her no, I can't, couldn't get my doctor to sign me off on working. Then...there came the tears, from us both. From them on, it was a waterfall. So I moved quickly to empty out my locker. Had no idea how much crap I had in there till it started coming out. Just a few people came in and saw me. All asked ARE YOU COMING BACK??? HOW GREAT! I had to say no, I can't. Then more tears. so then I moved even faster so that I wouldn't see anyone from my team. I turned in all of my stuff, pager, book, I.D. badge and the lock from my locker. I told Deborah to tell my people goodby and I was out the door. I had made it without a big deal really and boy was I glad. That was so hard I can't tell you. Gotta get coffee, maybe more later today.
Anna