Hey everyone! Saturday afternoon and boy is it hot. I sure wish more of you would post comments. It's really not that hard, I promise. Not sure if I should keep posting, not much going on. Maybe I'll re-start when the cancer comes back. Just make an apt. to get my tator washed...just cause I don't have much hair, doesn't mean I don't like my head washed. I'm also gonna get my uni-brow done. The family is going to the lake on Monday for a few days. We are taking the dogs and I can't wait to see which one likes to swim...my bet is on Mack (he's the Lab) I'll let you know next week. Anyone think I should ski? Maybe just get on the tube? Who knows, maybe I'll just go wild and have a beer!! LOL

Good Morning, it is....well, I have no idea what day it is. I guess I am forgetting more and more. gonna have to start writing stuff down. Did yard work with spencer yesterday, gonna do more today. After yard word we went to Millie's to swim and had an overall great day. I went to 2 meetings last night and did share a little bit. I do now realize that alcoholic is outa my control, not my fault, and not my problem. Thought for a long time that if one of my children was going to dye...I would stop drinking to help in anyway I could. NOT the way it works. It is MY choice how much time to spend with the persons effected by alcohol and drugs. It is my turn people....and I'm taking it now!! Maybe more later, if I remember! LOL

Sorry it has been so long since my last post. It is Saturday morning and I know this because I asked my husband. Sounds funny but for the last week, I have been forgetting everything and sleeping like you would not beleive. One day I slept about 20 of 24 hours. I layed down to take a little nap on Thursday about 1pm and woke up at 7:15 at night. When I got up, I went into the kitchen and made a pot of coffee, thinking it was morning and that I had slept the day away. If you know me, you know that I get up VERY early. After a long conversation I did realize it was Thursday evening. I missed my Al-Anon meeting which I really wanted to go to. ALSO...I can't remember anything!! I can't remember if I grounded my kids or banned them from Video Games or not. Thank goodness they don't "play" me. So...at my boys and husbands request, I called my doctor. Went in yesterday, and they are thinking it is my steroids that were halfed about 10 days. Now are back to full dose, 4mg/per day. Down side, I will be more angry and more swollen. Fabulous, already can't fit into anything I own. My ankles are huge, like I'm 40 months preggers. BUT the good news is....I'm alive! Large and lovely and living. More later, if I remember. LOL

Hey! It is Friday afternoon and I just got back from my apointment. All went well...Dr. Haywood loved my tator head...he called a few people into the office saying..."Look at Mrs. Stone's head!" Now I didn't think it was a big deal but they sure did. Apart from gaining about 6 lbs. I am doing really well. Dilantan level is 16, which is where it should be. I asked..."What now!" He did say there were options, he said last time there were none. I can have it removed again and have a chemo waffer put in. And a few other options but I can't remember the names of the meds. HOWEVER...he did say that none of them seem to work. So....a funny thing is...Dean is still gone with the boys so I went on my own...Dr. Haywood asked how was my support system? aka no Dean I said it's great! He said well, last time you two seemed a bit conflicted. I started laughing and told him that was just our banter and he was outa town and we are fine! Not sure if he believed me. I go back in September for a check up. I did ask a question for Dean. Is my memory loss because I'm 45 or because of the tumor. He said...to my suprise...50/50. Crap, Dean was right. Thing is I can't remember if I grounded the boys or not, which can be a point of real conflict. Gotta get ready for the boys to come home!! Love to you all.
Anna

Good Morning everyone! Well, my guys are on there way back home!!! I am looking forward to having some noise and a bit of laundry..hehehehehe. (ask me again on Sunday) I had a great meeting last night, and I was thinking last night, Why do the addicts in my life do what they do? Then it hit me....Not my fault, Not my problem. That is really hard to admit and to live and let go but I will try and focus on me and mine instead of these other people. Anywho....more later folks!

WOW did I ever need that meeting! I have to keep reminding myself that it is not my fault that the user uses, nor can I do anything to help or make them stop. I only have to worry about myself. Not sure why I always want to "fix" people but I'm learning to let all of that go, and accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference. That's what I will be working on for now. I have my apt tomorrow afternoon and I will post to let everyone know how it goes. Have a wonderful evening.
Anna

Second post today....it is HOTTER THAN YOU KNOW WHAT HERE!!!! Dean's Redneck swimming pool is looking good today. I am going to an Al-anon meeting again tonight again and boy do I need it. I wish I understood why dissfunctunal alcoholics keep showing up on my door. Or close to it. I know I won't get answers but I do feel better when I go. I'll try to post when I get home to let you all know if my attitude is any better.

Good Thursday morning to you all!! I has a really good day yesterday. I went to Rogers for lunch with my kinda, almost sister in law, then suprised my almost parents in law for a visit. I dated their son in my 20's and boy did I love them, still do. They are the most down to earth, real people I've ever met. Don't get me wrong, I love my REAL in laws and they are wonderful! Lee, Tonia....you guys are awesome, and I am so lucky that you are my in laws. My guys are in Holland, Michigan and might be home on Saturday. I do miss them. I need to get ready for laundry. More later.

Morning! Up early today...about 3:45. Kept getting very cold then sweaty, couldn't sleep well. My guys are still gone, travelling the U.S. and having a blast. One of my friends called me yesterday to "check" on me and made me laugh...she said..."Are your boys still gone? Yep....she said...Bon Bons and Pajamas!!" Which is true...I've been eating what I want and wearing my pj's still I have to leave the house. I took my friend and neighbor Alice to her doctor apt. yesterday which happened to be at H.O.G. (Highlands Oncology Group) she doesn't have cancer as far as we know, just the doctor is in that building. MY oncologist called yesterday to see if I could come in for blood work before my apt. on Friday! I told the nurse...I didn't even know I had an apt. on Friday!!! I'm gonna give them a piece of my mind on Friday. Same office, nurse, doctor that made me wait DAYS to find out my MRI results. God forbid they or someone they love gets cancer. Today is Wednesday, the day I take 50K of vitamin D. to help my headaches. Thinking it is working. Headaches are getting better, who knew all the stuff your body needs. Gonna drink coffee now...more later maybe...maybe Friday!

Good Friday Morning! I have waited a few days to post so that I could calm down. I wrote a post on Tuesday that has upset a lot of people. Here it is...I said when I started this post that I would put in the Good, Bad, and Ugle. Tuesday's was ugle but it is what it is. Those of you who don't like it for me to talk about dying...read someone elses blog. It DOES NOT MEAN THAT I HAVE GIVEN UP OR THAT I DON'T HAVE HOPE AND FAITH. IT IS REALITY FOLKS. If it is too upsetting, please stop reading this blog and find an all happy one with flowers and sunshine. The truth is, if someone you loved died, would you want to sit around looking at everything of theirs, and all of their clothes and say..."Oh....remember when they wore that!" Not me and I don't want my family doing that either. I'm trying to think of them for a few days instead of myself. Although I am selfish, controlling, and a bit of a *itch most of the time, I'm trying to think of others right now. SO IF ANYONE WANTS ME TO EDIT THIS BLOG AS TO NOT UPSET ANYONE....BITE ME!!!!! Maybe I won't be so witchy tomorrow. Amen.

Hey everyone! well, let me tell you about the day I had on Sunday. Went to church, didn't want to but I know that when you don't want to go, you will hear exactly what you need. Boy did I. Bad things do happen to good people. We may not understand it right away, but it will be for the good. Also, I've been having trouble with something. My husband Dean has told me that when I die, he wants to move and sell all of our (my) stuff. I would cry and say "no way, this is the boys home!" I had never thought that it would be harder for them to stay with a reminder of me everywhere. I have since changed my mind. While they are gone on their "man" trip, I'm going to go thru as much as I can for donations so they don't have to after I die. Ok, second part of Sunday. We went to the lake! Dean, Spencer and I and we had so much fun. We have new friends that invited us to their lake house (OMG) Dennis and Carrie Nelms. The food...to die for, 2 boats, 2 Sea Doo's and anything else you can think of to have fun. We were gone for amost 12 hours AND I had a beer. I know, I'm going to the wild side. We got back at 11pm and I went right to bed. I got up at 4am as usual, went to potty, got back into bed, and slept till 1:30pm. Had a drink of water, pottied, went back to bed and got up at 4:30pm!!!!! Can you believe it? I can't. It was worth it, my legs are so sore from squeezing on to Dean on the Seadoo. I have no idea how to spell that or anything else for that matter. LOL I can say that I lived out loud on Sunday and hope to do it again very soon. That was my Sunday and Monday. Back to reality, LAUNDRY...at least I can still do it right? Love you all.

Sunday morning around 7am. I had a wonderful visit with Bill Burke yesterday! He has been one of my biggest supporters. Big thanks to Karen for giving him time to come for a visit. He and Dean both yelled at me (kinda) for not posting everyday. You guys can bit me! I'm trying to get my like back while I have it. We went to one of our parties yesterday, I was so tired. I did drink a beer, maybe that is why I got so tired. OH!! Kathy!!! I saw your brother yesterday...we call him "Coach Turnbull" I'm so sorry I didn't get to see you while you were here but he said how busy you were and he only saw you once for a short time so I don't feel so badly. Anyway, I will try to do better on posting more often. TRY!!! One of my friends at the party said something to me yesterday that I wanted to pass along. She said...I have wanted to call or post a comment on your blog but I really don't know what to say! I told her.."That's ok...just say that!" I really do understand that when I'm gone, life will go on for everyone as it should. So, just email or post a comment that says...thinking of you...that's it! If Bill can post, anyone can! LOL Might be going to the lake today so I will post later tonight or tomorrow. Love, Anna